Swimming in a Fish Bowl...

December 2019

1st sequence in dream - Sitting on a bed, asking my sisters, (who didn’t look very much like my sisters) if they were, ok? One said that she had a headache but that it was just in her head and nowhere else, when a voice out of the void said to me, ‘you know what that means?’, and I said yes, that I can continue and get married. I still had to check with my other sister though and she wasn’t around.

Interpretation - I needing the validation of others before I can enter into a contract. I over analyse and don’t trust my emotions, feelings or intuition to act. This over analysing stops me from seeing the signs below, and the constant questioning causes confusion and headaches for others. Why do I need validation in my life? If things are right, just do them Sister. Just do them. Why ask so many questions and analyse all your life little one. You end up giving everyone a headache.

2nd sequence in dream - I was sitting on a bed in a strange room and there was a heap of tiny fish floating all around me, forming little fish scapes, many different varieties swimming around the bedroom. I pulled out a camera to take a photo, it turned out to be an old film camera and I was a little disturbed that I couldn’t check the photos. Someone, I feel it was my ‘x-man’, (although he wasn’t at that time) was then lying in bed and then he left and there was a little brown snake curled up on his pillow. Its head was in the air wobbling around much like a cobra and looking at me. I wasn’t scared of this snake, just sat and observed. I thought to myself, how weird, swimming fish and a brown snake, in bed. I wanted to send the photos to my sisters, but couldn’t as they were not digital.

Interpretation - Sitting in a strange space, well I felt that so much during the lead up to my separation. Every space seemed strange and unfamiliar. Sitting within clear clean water watching as fish swam around me in a sacred bedroom space, gives me an insight that the sacred union that myself and my partner once shared was changed now. The sensual love shared was gone. ‘X-man’ had left the bed and left behind a diminished symbol of our sexuality. It was a departure that was non-threatening nor passionate. The old camera signifies images of the past.

3rd sequence in dream - Then I was in another room and getting undressed for a communal shower. Mum and Dad were in this room and they said that they couldn’t partake, because if the door accidentally closed who could open it. I thought this was overkill safety, but kept that to myself when I walked into the shower room. It was a big square room with heaps of different shapes and sizes of shower heads and at different heights. I stood under the shower I had chosen, which had multiple levels and crouched down to fit under the head, instead of adjusting it. A cousin of mine came over to use my shower as well. She lined up and waited. I thought this to be strange, because the room was empty and she could have showered in any of the other areas.

Interpretation - A bland room, void of anything sensory. A shower room, square and exact. To wash away the sad the broken and the ugly, part of self. The leaving has happened and I need to cleanse first, to acknowledge what was and leave it. My parents are concerned that once I begin this process, I may never return from it. I know I will. It is necessary to move forward. I still have my choice of height in the shower room, my choice of stream or trickle and where I will be standing or in my case crouching. Not really wanting to create too much change or exposure or willing perhaps to become uncomfortable in the moment of cleansing. My cousin needs to witness this cleansing and see me on the road below.

4th sequence in dream - I was then on a road and there was a huge part of the road missing. When someone I knew pulled up in a luxury vehicle. This guy had a handlebar moustache, and said to my cousin with such delight in his voice, and I knew it was because she would be scared, that we had to build the road first and then travel over the perilous surface. Just as he was discussing who was going to drive what of his vehicles, he exclaimed that his motorbike had taken off and was heading over the road. Then I realised that I should be able to get it too as two others were in pursuit, and the recapture of the motorbike had become a competition. There was a lady in pursuit that made it hard to get around her because she was on a very wide trike. I was on an electrical bike and when I relaxed and relaxed my grip it went forward faster, accelerating with ease. I freely willed the bike to manoeuvre around my obstacles and there was no fear. I could see I was approaching the bike quickly by a sonar reader on my handle bars, but then the bike I was chasing disappeared, it disappeared into the folds of a blanket. It was lost. The competition was over.

Interpretation - This guy had travelled and travelled far which gave him wealth far beyond reach or scope of man. I enjoyed his flamboyant style as he neither cared nor concerned himself with the judgements of others. He helped where he could. His moustache was testament to his stylings and his ability to amuse and create safety within destruction for all those he helped onto the path. Washing over the fact that it is not going to be easy, there are repairs to be made. Or was there. Because there were no repairs needed, once he sent his motorbike ahead, the road was of no consequence, and the road was left behind, for a path of intuition, belief and trust in myself. The motorbike hid in a blanket of secrecy, unknown as to who took it, or sent it forth, but that secrecy revealed the biggest secret of all, that sometimes you don’t have to know everything in your path, trust in yourself and fly.